For 4 years, I was told it was benign, just a cyst that would most likely disappear on its own. I wanted to believe that, until one day I decided I didn’t want to wait anymore. I wanted it out. Gone.
When I was referred to a surgeon, he requested a biopsy.
And then came the call. My regular doctor was away on holidays, so it was a stranger’s voice on the line that was the first to say the word: Cancer.
He told me how sorry he was that I had to hear it this way.
I still remember standing there, phone in hand, nodding, thanking him, and hanging up. My ears heard the sentence, but my mind refused to let it in. Cancer?
Even now, it feels strange to say it out loud and even stranger to admit how scared I was. I’ve always been the encourager, the one who lifts others up. Admitting that I needed help was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.
But maybe you’ve felt that too? The tug between wanting to be strong and realizing that true strength sometimes means letting others in.
So little by little, I have. And I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for your prayers, kindness, and support.
The surgery is now behind me, and radiation treatments lie ahead. But I wait with calmness now instead of fear.
This journey has reminded me how fragile life is and how much of it I’ve still held back from, out of fear of “getting it wrong.” Strangely enough, what I carry now is not just fear, but more calmness and gratitude than ever before. It’s okay to be afraid, it’s okay to make mistakes, and it’s more than okay to need help.
I want to thank my husband, my children, and my friends who have rallied around me. Their love has been a priceless gift.
My art has always been a way for me to process, to heal, and to remind myself that there is calm to be found in the chaos.
And because life feels too fragile and precious not to share beauty, I want to give you a gift, a piece of my art.
It’s a wallpaper for your phone, from a larger artwork called ‘Rocks of Vedder River’. A reminder that even from turbulent waters, strength, beauty and calm can be found.
PS: If you have been going through something similar and feel like you need to reach out, please feel free to reply and share your story with me.
And if you don’t feel like reaching out, that’s okay too. I hope my story helped you know you are not alone.
With gratitude,
Patti
